basilmemories (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
basilmemories) wrote2009-12-19 11:58 pm
basilmemories) wrote2009-12-19 11:58 pm
Oh fuck this noise.
I might be completely tired, but I want to get this off my chest so I won’t carry it over into my dreams.
You know what? Fuck you Christmas. I never thought I’d say that, Christmas/winter holiday clusterfuck is my favorite time of year. Even when I was broke before I could squeeze some little drop of joy out of things. Today I thought I had. The meetup was nice, and for once I didn’t feel like a complete failure.
But I get home and I get yelled at because I didn’t spend my entire paycheck on christmas presents for mom/raptor/and my family. Yes, I know that. I got something for my friend’s birthday tomorrow. On top of that I more or less snapped and told her that I could live with having absolutely nothing left over to save for my dental work because mom always goes over the limit of what she gets out of my paycheck. I can live with that shit because I’m helping with the household, but then she sighs and then tells me that I have to “chip in” for gifts on Tuesday and that I don’t do anything to help out. Fuck her, I won’t put up with her taking my money and then STILL saying that I’m worthless.
And you know what? Fuck those false friends that bug me about a gift for Christmas/their birthday. You know how many of my dear, dear friends actually got me a damned thing? Nobody. Even some of my family was absent on acknowledging that, yanno, I WAS BORN ON DEC 2nd. I can think of five, FIVE friends who even said, “oh hey you were born today, congrats”.
You know how many of my friends are even going to bother getting me something this year? If they can’t even take the time out of their day to wish me a two-word greeting about the day of my birth, then I really doubt that they’d spend money on me. And you know what? Fine. I could tell that they didn’t give a shit about what I was going through by the fact that they didn’t talk to me regularly until AFTER I put up the post saying I had antibiotics. I can live with not getting anything from people and them not being there.
What I can’t deal with is getting 4-5 pms in one night asking me what I’m getting them for Christmas and sending me a link to their wishlists. Again, fuck you. Since they’re not close enough friends to give a shit, I don’t feel obligated for me to get them anything unless they cough up a gift themselves. Hey, while everybody else is doing it and spamming their friends with these things, I might as well write one myself. It’s not like it’s going to get anything, but who knows, a godamn christmas miricle might be on my way.
Big items:
-A sewing machine. Doesn’t matter if it’s new or used, just as long as it works.
- A rice cooker.
- Another pair of pants.
- A new bra.
- A stick or two of this kind of memory (). Alternately...
- A copy of windows XP professional (oem/whatever) so I have a backup in case the system I have all the parts for needs the installation. (I lost my copy ages ago)
- a printer/scanner that works, instead of just scanning things.
- money so I can afford the dental work.
Small things:
- Paid time and/or icons on my rp/main accounts
- One of those little inflatable bath pillows that stick to the side of the tub.
- Lush crap. If you need to know my preferences, ask.
- Dice: d10,d20,d6 “cubes”, excexc. I love them all.
- Notebooks of graph paper
- Groceries
- Painkillers
- Rpg books (particularly new systems and games.)
You know what? Fuck you Christmas. I never thought I’d say that, Christmas/winter holiday clusterfuck is my favorite time of year. Even when I was broke before I could squeeze some little drop of joy out of things. Today I thought I had. The meetup was nice, and for once I didn’t feel like a complete failure.
But I get home and I get yelled at because I didn’t spend my entire paycheck on christmas presents for mom/raptor/and my family. Yes, I know that. I got something for my friend’s birthday tomorrow. On top of that I more or less snapped and told her that I could live with having absolutely nothing left over to save for my dental work because mom always goes over the limit of what she gets out of my paycheck. I can live with that shit because I’m helping with the household, but then she sighs and then tells me that I have to “chip in” for gifts on Tuesday and that I don’t do anything to help out. Fuck her, I won’t put up with her taking my money and then STILL saying that I’m worthless.
And you know what? Fuck those false friends that bug me about a gift for Christmas/their birthday. You know how many of my dear, dear friends actually got me a damned thing? Nobody. Even some of my family was absent on acknowledging that, yanno, I WAS BORN ON DEC 2nd. I can think of five, FIVE friends who even said, “oh hey you were born today, congrats”.
You know how many of my friends are even going to bother getting me something this year? If they can’t even take the time out of their day to wish me a two-word greeting about the day of my birth, then I really doubt that they’d spend money on me. And you know what? Fine. I could tell that they didn’t give a shit about what I was going through by the fact that they didn’t talk to me regularly until AFTER I put up the post saying I had antibiotics. I can live with not getting anything from people and them not being there.
What I can’t deal with is getting 4-5 pms in one night asking me what I’m getting them for Christmas and sending me a link to their wishlists. Again, fuck you. Since they’re not close enough friends to give a shit, I don’t feel obligated for me to get them anything unless they cough up a gift themselves. Hey, while everybody else is doing it and spamming their friends with these things, I might as well write one myself. It’s not like it’s going to get anything, but who knows, a godamn christmas miricle might be on my way.
Big items:
-A sewing machine. Doesn’t matter if it’s new or used, just as long as it works.
- A rice cooker.
- Another pair of pants.
- A new bra.
- A stick or two of this kind of memory (). Alternately...
- A copy of windows XP professional (oem/whatever) so I have a backup in case the system I have all the parts for needs the installation. (I lost my copy ages ago)
- a printer/scanner that works, instead of just scanning things.
- money so I can afford the dental work.
Small things:
- Paid time and/or icons on my rp/main accounts
- One of those little inflatable bath pillows that stick to the side of the tub.
- Lush crap. If you need to know my preferences, ask.
- Dice: d10,d20,d6 “cubes”, excexc. I love them all.
- Notebooks of graph paper
- Groceries
- Painkillers
- Rpg books (particularly new systems and games.)
no subject
I'm sorry this year has been so rough on you, sweetie. Again I wish we didn't live on opposite coasts, so I could do more for you. But I believe I can hook you up with some of those things, if you don't mind some of them being not-brand-new out of the box.
We have a shit ton of different dice, an inflatable bath pillow or two, and if Victoria's Secret is OK I can hook you up with a bra or two.
Lemme know. ♥