basilmemories (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
basilmemories) wrote2005-09-14 11:01 pm
basilmemories) wrote2005-09-14 11:01 pm
Things continued as things are wont to do. (SO NOT WORKSAFE)
Going by the IN scale of happiness I’d say I haven’t fallen quite yet, but I’m rather dissonant. Job-wise things have been a storm, one moment I’m looking down the barrel of the ‘you don’t have any hours’ gun, the next I’m pulling a balancing act between three or four jobs and seeing how things work out.
Well as things worked out I’m still employed at the flower shop two days a week, and for the next four I’m at the arcade. This isn’t how I wanted things to work out mainly because come November I’m going to have transportation problems and also because that job pays less then the florist. Oh well, one of these days I’m going to get a normal 9-5 job for five days a week at a pay I can live on, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen in the near future.
On the upside if my calculations are right I’m going to have enough for the convention without too much of a hassle, and that leaves me with a sigh of relief (and a check to send to daemonitellama in hand, as cash was tight the last paycheck and said paycheck was confiscated by the people’s republic of my family). I still keep reminding my bosses that I have the 28-30’th off every other day mainly because they still haven’t put it up on their timetables yet, and this is one of the things where I will call in sick if they book me on any of those days.
Also on the upside a little after the convention I will either a) finish upgrading my computer or b) get a laptop. Both prospects sound good and the café near where I work has free wireless. (Ah the joys of surfing the net during lunch break, how I had missed thee).
And while this has nothing to do with any of the above topics, I have to make an open note to hentai animators:
1) The vagina is not the hot-spot for the female, nor does inserting your blue-eyes-white-magical-sparkly-love-dragon into said orifice make it automatically start going off like a fountain. The female has something called a clitoris; use it.
2) I assume the majority of the people making these films are men, yet why do you insist on showing the penis as an immovable object jetting out at exactly ninety degrees from the body and more deeply grooved then the Grand Canyon? Or possessing more veins then the entire circulatory system? Stop it, you’re not fooling anyone. Also? The penis is not a neon-bright red color; if yours is you need medical attention _now_.
3) Females don’t have sparkly orgasms
4) Neither do males.
5) The vagina doesn’t open like a coin purse.
6) In every single hentai I have seen there is either a tentacle beast, incest, or a hermaphrodite… keep up the good work.
7) There is no part of the genitals that emits a ray of light during intercourse.
8) Use lube, and in great amounts, also do not use your fingers inside orifices if you possess count D-like nails.
9) All old men in hentai are voice-acted by either the person who does Gozaburo Kaiba or Yugi Mutou’s grandfather. Again, stop it; Kaiba has enough problems.
10) And to add to that, all demon-lords seem to be played by the same person, who for reference played the demon in Yami no matsuei.
11) The longest any person can be bound/in bondage varies, but twenty minutes is usually considered the very max, keeping someone like that for a few days-months isn’t good for anyone involved.
12) This rule also applies to cockrings
13) A remote-controlled vibrating object doesn’t have enough battery life to keep it going for two hours, much less an entire school day.
14) Tea whisks should never be used as adult toys, make that _any_ tea equipment should not be used as an adult toy.
15) “Chibi sidekicks, cute pets, plush toys, the character’s favorite inanimate object, and other such things should never be allowed to have a moment alone with the hero/heroine as they will either try and engage in coitus with the character or gain sentience and try to do the action mentioned above.” I want to say that I haven’t found anything titillating with situations like these; also if I never see a strange deformed perverted ninja again it will be too soon.
16) Hot candle wax is generally considered ‘not fun’ to have in the vagina.
17) The same can be said for lit cigarettes.
18) As a matter of fact that can also go for swords, razors, sea urchins, knitting needles, anything with a length of over two feet, snakes with poisonous spines, cacti, and the business end of any sort of weapon.
19) If you are going to depict pubic hair, please do not have it look like a tarantula is living in the individual’s private area.
20) And lastly; preparation before anal activities is your friend.
Well as things worked out I’m still employed at the flower shop two days a week, and for the next four I’m at the arcade. This isn’t how I wanted things to work out mainly because come November I’m going to have transportation problems and also because that job pays less then the florist. Oh well, one of these days I’m going to get a normal 9-5 job for five days a week at a pay I can live on, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen in the near future.
On the upside if my calculations are right I’m going to have enough for the convention without too much of a hassle, and that leaves me with a sigh of relief (and a check to send to daemonitellama in hand, as cash was tight the last paycheck and said paycheck was confiscated by the people’s republic of my family). I still keep reminding my bosses that I have the 28-30’th off every other day mainly because they still haven’t put it up on their timetables yet, and this is one of the things where I will call in sick if they book me on any of those days.
Also on the upside a little after the convention I will either a) finish upgrading my computer or b) get a laptop. Both prospects sound good and the café near where I work has free wireless. (Ah the joys of surfing the net during lunch break, how I had missed thee).
And while this has nothing to do with any of the above topics, I have to make an open note to hentai animators:
1) The vagina is not the hot-spot for the female, nor does inserting your blue-eyes-white-magical-sparkly-love-dragon into said orifice make it automatically start going off like a fountain. The female has something called a clitoris; use it.
2) I assume the majority of the people making these films are men, yet why do you insist on showing the penis as an immovable object jetting out at exactly ninety degrees from the body and more deeply grooved then the Grand Canyon? Or possessing more veins then the entire circulatory system? Stop it, you’re not fooling anyone. Also? The penis is not a neon-bright red color; if yours is you need medical attention _now_.
3) Females don’t have sparkly orgasms
4) Neither do males.
5) The vagina doesn’t open like a coin purse.
6) In every single hentai I have seen there is either a tentacle beast, incest, or a hermaphrodite… keep up the good work.
7) There is no part of the genitals that emits a ray of light during intercourse.
8) Use lube, and in great amounts, also do not use your fingers inside orifices if you possess count D-like nails.
9) All old men in hentai are voice-acted by either the person who does Gozaburo Kaiba or Yugi Mutou’s grandfather. Again, stop it; Kaiba has enough problems.
10) And to add to that, all demon-lords seem to be played by the same person, who for reference played the demon in Yami no matsuei.
11) The longest any person can be bound/in bondage varies, but twenty minutes is usually considered the very max, keeping someone like that for a few days-months isn’t good for anyone involved.
12) This rule also applies to cockrings
13) A remote-controlled vibrating object doesn’t have enough battery life to keep it going for two hours, much less an entire school day.
14) Tea whisks should never be used as adult toys, make that _any_ tea equipment should not be used as an adult toy.
15) “Chibi sidekicks, cute pets, plush toys, the character’s favorite inanimate object, and other such things should never be allowed to have a moment alone with the hero/heroine as they will either try and engage in coitus with the character or gain sentience and try to do the action mentioned above.” I want to say that I haven’t found anything titillating with situations like these; also if I never see a strange deformed perverted ninja again it will be too soon.
16) Hot candle wax is generally considered ‘not fun’ to have in the vagina.
17) The same can be said for lit cigarettes.
18) As a matter of fact that can also go for swords, razors, sea urchins, knitting needles, anything with a length of over two feet, snakes with poisonous spines, cacti, and the business end of any sort of weapon.
19) If you are going to depict pubic hair, please do not have it look like a tarantula is living in the individual’s private area.
20) And lastly; preparation before anal activities is your friend.
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