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Guess what, one post doesn't make it go away. I'm going to update about this until things change and the state/private organization covers me, or I end up dead. This really doesn't apply to people who've been reading this journal or who I talk to online, but for those people I thought were my friends offline, I'm so damn sorry that my medical situation harshes your day. I guess in between the fucking pain, the outright terror, and the being denied by a shitload of places that's supposed to help the working poor, I forgot to join in the effervescent sunshine glow of your life.
Am I being a bitch by being "ungrateful" that you're my friend? I'm pretty sure I am, and you know what? When this all ends one way or another, I will feel like total shit and apologize. Until then? I'm so sorry, but the worries about my continued existence is going to darken my general mood. It's already bad that I'm going to have to fake happy for 12 hours while people bitch at me for the price of gas/food/everything, but I can't even tell my MOTHER because she'll lose it and make it all about her.
Let me put this way: It hurts to eat, it hurts to drink, I can't sleep without having worse nightmares then before. Hell I don't even want to sleep because if I get allergies and snore during the night, then it dries out my tooth and I'm can barely think throughout the pain for over 7 hours. Trust me, I counted. But oh, a dentist can choose not to treat me if I don't have money, because a dentist doesn't treat "serious" problems, you know. I can be told that I have something that has strong possibility of making me take a dirt nap, but the same damn person won't talk to his family member dentist about letting me do a payment plan.
For those who gave me places to look? Thank you. I'm still looking, and I haven't exhausted my search yet, but if I'm a royal bitch in your general direction, you now know why.
Am I being a bitch by being "ungrateful" that you're my friend? I'm pretty sure I am, and you know what? When this all ends one way or another, I will feel like total shit and apologize. Until then? I'm so sorry, but the worries about my continued existence is going to darken my general mood. It's already bad that I'm going to have to fake happy for 12 hours while people bitch at me for the price of gas/food/everything, but I can't even tell my MOTHER because she'll lose it and make it all about her.
Let me put this way: It hurts to eat, it hurts to drink, I can't sleep without having worse nightmares then before. Hell I don't even want to sleep because if I get allergies and snore during the night, then it dries out my tooth and I'm can barely think throughout the pain for over 7 hours. Trust me, I counted. But oh, a dentist can choose not to treat me if I don't have money, because a dentist doesn't treat "serious" problems, you know. I can be told that I have something that has strong possibility of making me take a dirt nap, but the same damn person won't talk to his family member dentist about letting me do a payment plan.
For those who gave me places to look? Thank you. I'm still looking, and I haven't exhausted my search yet, but if I'm a royal bitch in your general direction, you now know why.