basilmemories (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
basilmemories) wrote2009-06-05 04:42 pm
basilmemories) wrote2009-06-05 04:42 pm
On my new job.
I’m... not sure if I’m fond of my new boss or not, but at any point where you find yourself crying after you get home from work, it’s probably not a sign that one has a career in that field.
No it’s not that I don’t know how to do things, but it was a combination of messing up and being called on it, working on a few hours of sleep, getting treated like I’m an idiot after the messing up, AND getting mixed signals.
Case in point, working the damn register. I know how to do this, but I got two different sets of directions on how to do it. Yeah I’m sorry I can’t keep one number in my head while doing math for another one, that’s why registers tend to show both numbers, cash back AND how much the cost of the items was. If he wanted the employees to count the money back to the original total, he’d get a fucking system that showed that. Oh yeah, it shows that to the customer, but I’m shit outta luck.
So he has me count back the change only. Fine. I like that version better, but the one time when I slip and go back to the “count up to the total amount of money given” method (which is a holdover from the flower shop, actually. Just they did it RIGHT) do I get any recognition for doing it the “right” way? Hell no! I get another lecture about how we discussed that I was going to do it the easy way. It seemed after every time I “got the hang” of something, he was on my ass about how I did something else wrong. Here’s the thing, yes I was fucking up, but part of it was the fact that I was so godamn worried about messing up again that I was on edge all the time.
You know what? There were moments when I was awesome, fucking awesome. I felt like I knew how to do things backwards and forwards, but then my boss would come back in and then I’d screw something up just like clockwork. I know that must have made me look like he’d hired an idiot, but when he showed me how to properly open a milk carton? Yeah, I think I had a right to feel insulted. What do you bet I manage to mess that up come tomorrow though?
Worst thing is this: I can’t quit. Not only because I need any job I can get, but also my mom seems to like me working grunt-pay jobs that make me miserable. Oh yeah, she thinks it’s stupid of me to try for a office job that pays 12$ an hour, but if I tell her that I’m not putting as much effort into getting a job at a pizza joint or a gas station, she flips her shit. No mom, I don’t think I’m being stuck up and am avoiding “hard work”, I’M TRYING TO GET GODAMN HEALTHCARE AND DENTAL. Which- my current job doesn’t have.
Not only do I work 12-hour days at 8/hr (plus overtime), but mom declares that I owe her money and she’s going to take about half my paycheck for bills. So for at least a month I’m going to be working 12-hour days, 5-6 days a week, and even if I manage not to get fired I won’t be able to celebrate by going to Otakon in July. I just- what the fuck am I even working for if it doesn’t help anything? Yes I owe my friends money, but after I pay them back they’re not going to keep harping on my ass and keep claiming that I don’t work hard enough.
I really hope this is just the “Starting a new job and feel like I’m worthless” depression that goes away in a week. More importantly, I hope I can finish up and act normal by the time mom gets home. Because god knows that if I’m honest, I’m just going to end up feeling even more like shit by the end of the evening.
No it’s not that I don’t know how to do things, but it was a combination of messing up and being called on it, working on a few hours of sleep, getting treated like I’m an idiot after the messing up, AND getting mixed signals.
Case in point, working the damn register. I know how to do this, but I got two different sets of directions on how to do it. Yeah I’m sorry I can’t keep one number in my head while doing math for another one, that’s why registers tend to show both numbers, cash back AND how much the cost of the items was. If he wanted the employees to count the money back to the original total, he’d get a fucking system that showed that. Oh yeah, it shows that to the customer, but I’m shit outta luck.
So he has me count back the change only. Fine. I like that version better, but the one time when I slip and go back to the “count up to the total amount of money given” method (which is a holdover from the flower shop, actually. Just they did it RIGHT) do I get any recognition for doing it the “right” way? Hell no! I get another lecture about how we discussed that I was going to do it the easy way. It seemed after every time I “got the hang” of something, he was on my ass about how I did something else wrong. Here’s the thing, yes I was fucking up, but part of it was the fact that I was so godamn worried about messing up again that I was on edge all the time.
You know what? There were moments when I was awesome, fucking awesome. I felt like I knew how to do things backwards and forwards, but then my boss would come back in and then I’d screw something up just like clockwork. I know that must have made me look like he’d hired an idiot, but when he showed me how to properly open a milk carton? Yeah, I think I had a right to feel insulted. What do you bet I manage to mess that up come tomorrow though?
Worst thing is this: I can’t quit. Not only because I need any job I can get, but also my mom seems to like me working grunt-pay jobs that make me miserable. Oh yeah, she thinks it’s stupid of me to try for a office job that pays 12$ an hour, but if I tell her that I’m not putting as much effort into getting a job at a pizza joint or a gas station, she flips her shit. No mom, I don’t think I’m being stuck up and am avoiding “hard work”, I’M TRYING TO GET GODAMN HEALTHCARE AND DENTAL. Which- my current job doesn’t have.
Not only do I work 12-hour days at 8/hr (plus overtime), but mom declares that I owe her money and she’s going to take about half my paycheck for bills. So for at least a month I’m going to be working 12-hour days, 5-6 days a week, and even if I manage not to get fired I won’t be able to celebrate by going to Otakon in July. I just- what the fuck am I even working for if it doesn’t help anything? Yes I owe my friends money, but after I pay them back they’re not going to keep harping on my ass and keep claiming that I don’t work hard enough.
I really hope this is just the “Starting a new job and feel like I’m worthless” depression that goes away in a week. More importantly, I hope I can finish up and act normal by the time mom gets home. Because god knows that if I’m honest, I’m just going to end up feeling even more like shit by the end of the evening.
no subject
Hang in there, honey. I believe in you.
no subject
no subject
The theater pays 8.50 and is in need of people over 18, if you wanna try there or something. I like it, and I'm actually enjoying it.
Also, my gmail thinger is valkyrjaKaori, and you're still on "invited"