basilmemories (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
basilmemories) wrote2010-03-02 09:58 pm
basilmemories) wrote2010-03-02 09:58 pm
THE MAGICAL STORY OF MY BARVENTURES
(mostly copypasta'd from irc)
So! there's a nice little Mexican food place near my house. Good food, great setting, a pool table, roomy... if I had more friends who liked Mexican food I'd take them there. But today I was at the bar waiting for my order and among other things, was listening to the adorable elderly couple commenting on a almost-fight ("Oh, I think he's about to kneecap him." "he really should punch him in the face" "no, there's too many teeth there dear, he might just bite him instead." "hmm hmm, you're right."), WHEN A CLEARLY DRUNK MAN SITS DOWN NEXT TO ME.
"hey sweet thing, I bet you got yourself a sissy drink didn't ya?"
"because I'm a girl?"
"hell yeah. so why don't you come home with me and just show me how girly you really are" Honestly that's the worst pick up line in the history of ever.
"How about this, if I've got a fruity drink coming, I'll come home with you, but if I've got a different kind of drink coming, you'll buy yourself a few appletinis. deal?" and because he was drunk and I had a vagina, CLEARLY I WANTED HIM, so he agreed.
about a few minutes (and me putting up with his "suggestions" for the evening) later...
"you wanted the dos equis?"
"yep! and this man wanted to order a appletini, but he's too shy to admit it~"
Before I left I made sure to add (as he was wallowing in his DRINK OF SHAAAAAAME) "oh, keep 'em coming for him, will you?"
Sometimes, I have a good day.
So! there's a nice little Mexican food place near my house. Good food, great setting, a pool table, roomy... if I had more friends who liked Mexican food I'd take them there. But today I was at the bar waiting for my order and among other things, was listening to the adorable elderly couple commenting on a almost-fight ("Oh, I think he's about to kneecap him." "he really should punch him in the face" "no, there's too many teeth there dear, he might just bite him instead." "hmm hmm, you're right."), WHEN A CLEARLY DRUNK MAN SITS DOWN NEXT TO ME.
"hey sweet thing, I bet you got yourself a sissy drink didn't ya?"
"because I'm a girl?"
"hell yeah. so why don't you come home with me and just show me how girly you really are" Honestly that's the worst pick up line in the history of ever.
"How about this, if I've got a fruity drink coming, I'll come home with you, but if I've got a different kind of drink coming, you'll buy yourself a few appletinis. deal?" and because he was drunk and I had a vagina, CLEARLY I WANTED HIM, so he agreed.
about a few minutes (and me putting up with his "suggestions" for the evening) later...
"you wanted the dos equis?"
"yep! and this man wanted to order a appletini, but he's too shy to admit it~"
Before I left I made sure to add (as he was wallowing in his DRINK OF SHAAAAAAME) "oh, keep 'em coming for him, will you?"
Sometimes, I have a good day.
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E-epic win
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